“When I was a kid, my friends and I got arrested for vandalizing a graveyard. I said, ‘Who cares? How many kids do you know get to die a winner?” 11 That's all anybody talked about for weeks. Like about a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek, and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. “People get weird when kids die, that's a fact. But if you’re a sick puppy, and you’re ready to take a trip down this dark alley, welcome. If you’re easily offended, or if you have a weak stomach, you might want to tread lightly on this one. Even transcribing these jokes for this piece felt like writing the kind of manifesto they find left behind after a massacre. In the mouth of any other person, these jokes are the kinda stuff that could land you on a government watch list. No one can take pitch-black material and have the charismatic stage presence to sell it for huge laughs like he can. Anthony Jeselnik is one of the darkest comedy geniuses of all time.
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